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Sunday, February 21, 2010

Bite Your Tongue

There are a few things I hate as a pregnant lady, but NOTHING that I hate more than when people comment on how large I am. I mean, really, I've noticed the 30 pounds that I've put on in the past 9 months, thanks. And I try to graciously grin and bear the stupid comments. But that does not save me from conversations like the one I had this morning. I was waiting in line to pick up a book at church. Just standing there, not attacking anyone with my stomach or anything. And out of nowhere, this random woman approached me with her eyes bulging.

Random woman: Oh, my. When are you due? Today?
Me (biting my tongue): No, two weeks from now.
(her eyes proceed to bug out of her head)
Random woman: No, really? Are you SURE there's just one in there?
Me: Yes, just one.

And then I turned around and marched out of line, which necessitated me going back and waiting again later....

Really, how can people think that it's okay to say things like that? And for the record, whenever people have made stupid comments during any of my 3 successful pregnancies, it has always been women, never men. You'd think that women would know better, after going through it themselves, or at least seeing their friends go through it.

It's like when I was pregnant with Bryn and was teaching. One first teacher work day of the year, another teacher (who had toddler twins at home, no less), took one look at me and said, "Whoa, when are you due--today or yesterday?" Um, well, that was August, and I was due in November, thanks.

Or again when I was pregnant with Bryn and I nearly got into an argument with a Target employee. One of my student aides worked at Target, and I ran into her there over the summer, so we were chatting. During our conversation, another random employee came along and joined right in, vehemently insisting that my doctor much clearly be wrong and there MUST be at least two babies growing in my stomach. No, just one average-sized girl, thanks.

I distinctly remember when I was pregnant with Shay as well. After enduring idiotic comments like these for the entire pregnancy, I got great pleasure out of running various errands on my due date and the day after. That way, when rude strangers looked at me and said with awe in their voices, "Wow, when are you due?", I could respond with a smile, "Yesterday." And then watch them back away slowly with fear in their eyes, as if I was going to explode right then and there....

So, friends, let me offer you a piece of unsolicited advice. Never, NEVER comment on a pregnant woman's size. I don't care if her stomach is acting as a roadblock or if she is as big as a house. Most of us (those of us with basic manners, at least), would never comment on a regular woman's size, going up to her in public and saying, "Wow, you sure are fat!" or "You really need to try a diet!" So don't do it with pregnant women either. After all, we have a lot of extra hormones going on, and we really can't guarantee your safety from our wrath.

9 comments:

SuperSillyAunt said...

Not to mention the fact that by the time you are big enough for people to make comments, you are generally in pain the majority of the time and being reminded of the large protrusion causing that pain only adds to it. However, the best comment I ever got when I was pregnant with Kaylee was, "I couldn't even tell you were pregnant from the back." But then that was followed up with, "But then you turned sideways..." you get the picture I'm sure.

Melissa said...

Amen, sister. I got sooooo tired of all the stupid comments people made when I was pregnant! There is nothing appropriate to say to a pregnant woman other than, "Congratulations!" and "You look great!"

Joe said...

I remember Kate coming home from work not only furious at all the stupid comments people made like those you have heard, but also all the random people that thought it was okay to come up and touch/rub her belly.

Eric said...

I remember reading a piece of advice many years ago that said "You should never Assume that a women is pregnant unless you can see a baby coming out of her body".

Maria said...

Wow.....I can't believe people would make such stupid comments. Good luck Amy....only two more weeks of comments to go!

Kathy said...

People never know when to keep their mouth shut. I remember my grandma asking a lady when she was due, and the lady wasn't even pregnant! Oops!

You would not believe some of the things people told me! People are clueless.

Kathy said...

p.s. I think it would be fun to mess with people when they say stupid things. Make up ridiculous stories.

amypfan said...

Thanks, friends--it's good to know I'm not alone in this. :)

Kathy - a friend of mine actually did once mess with the UPS delivery guy. He asked her when she was due, and she looked at him with a completely deadpan expression and said, "I'm not." After he flustered and apologized profusely, she laughed and told him she was only kidding--she was about 7 months along at the time, and she'd always just wanted to see what would happen if she said something like that!

Andrea said...

People are stupid and rude. Or that's why I told myself when people said rude things to me. ;)