I know that posting this news to the internet is probably not the best way to fill in my many wonderful friends, but here goes.
Last week, a blood test at my doctor's office revealed that I was pregnant. This came as surprise to us, but a very welcome one. While we are not desperate to have another baby now, here, today, this minute, we do want to have a big family and are thrilled to have another one when it comes.
The excitement lasted for less than three days, before a second blood test revealed that my levels had dropped dramatically. The nurse asked, "Have you started bleeding yet?"
Had it not been for that phonecall from the doctor's office, I wouldn't have known anything was wrong. As it was, I hoped against hope that they were wrong. But 20 hours after that call, it began.
This is my third miscarriage. And it happened two years to the week after the first one.
After the second miscarriage, I went to a fertility specialist, and we thought they had figured out the problem. As soon as we found out about this pregnancy, my doctor put me back on all the same prescriptions as when I was pregnant with Shay. Obviously that didn't work. So we are left to question whether there is something bigger wrong, or if we just didn't "catch" this in time. In either case, not only is this extremely painful in the present, but it also does not bode well for the future.
I don't really know what to say beyond that. Or rather, I don't know what to say that I haven't said before. This is the third time this has happened. I feel worn out, worn down. There's nothing new to say.