Based on the lack of comments on my last few posts, I'm wondering how many of you are still reading. Have I lost my readership because of my utter lack of posts in the past few weeks? I mean, I did really well this week--three posts in three days! (four in four once I post this) But I know I've been largely absent for the last month. Maybe I need to get back on the NaPoBloMo "posting every day" horse. Maybe.
I've been thinking a lot over the past few days about priorities. In spite of the fact that I have mountains of grading to do, my motivation to get it done vanishes as soon as I walk through the door in the evening and see my sweet little girls. The panic reappears the next morning as a shower, when I start thinking about the coming day and realize that my workload is growing ever heavier as I neglect to do things at home at night.
But isn't spending time with my family more important? I had a meeting this morning for a volunteer ministry at church, and they kept talking about how the church can only be effective if they partner with the family. That led me to think--am I being effective with my family? And why was I sitting in this meeting when I should be home loving on my kids? Lately I feel like the kids are just getting my leftovers.... tired mommy who doesn't feel like cooking dinner (or doing anything except zoning out and cuddling in front of a Disney) movie after arriving home. I am SO grateful to have Kristin here; she has been so awesome about playing with them all day and taking them on fun outings that they don't seem to be any worse off for all the changes they've been through lately. I'm also thrilled that Ben is now home from his many business trips, so we are going to be able to start settling into a regular routine and hopefully bring a little normalcy back into our lives.
All of these thoughts are swirling around in my head right now, combined with a heavy dose of Into the Wild, "Not Waving But Drowning," "So Much Unfairness of Things," Things Fall Apart, "The Lesson," "I Stand Here Ironing," High Fidelity, and college application essays. So things are a bit convoluted. The bottom line is, I'm feeling rather overwhelmed. I feel kind of pathetic airing all of this on the blog, but I love my friends and sadly, have not seen or talked to many of you since my life became insane. If any of you are still reading, send some love and positive thoughts my way, okay?