Monday, January 28, 2008

Sleepless in Lamont

The following is a partial list of Bryn's middle-of-the-night activities on our weekend trip to Michigan. These antics first occurred on Friday night into Saturday and are now being repeated on Sunday night into Monday. It is 3:15 am as I type this, and sleep is nowhere in sight.
* coughing
* sneezing
* nasty moist coughing
* more coughing
* difficulty breathing due to coughing and nasty moistness
(editor's note: the above actions, coupled with our desire to allow the rest of the family to sleep undisturbed by a sick, cranky toddler, are the ONLY reasons that Mommy and Daddy allowed the rest of the actions described below)
* crying to be let out of the Pack n'n Play
* snuggling in Aunt Jill's big bed with Mommy and Daddy
* watching "Finding Nemo" (in her words, "Dory")
* yelling "Mommy mommy mommy!" whenever Mommy closes her eyes
* crying hysterically when Daddy tries to cuddle her
* using Mommy's stomach as a pillow
* rearranging all the actual pillows
* sweetly saying "bye-bye" when Daddy gives up and goes to the living room to sleep on the couch (note: the rest of these actions take place following Daddy's departure)
* pulling Mommy's eyelids up by the eyelashes and encouraging her to watch "Dory"
* laying on Mommy's arm so long that it falls asleep (note: this is apparently the only thing that is going to be sleeping)
* running circles around the bed
* inhaling shower steam in Mommy's effort to clear her lungs
* sitting in the bathroom to read books
* screaming "more Dory!" at the end of the movie
* smiling happily when exhausted Mommy gives in and restarts the movie (no sound this time)
* emptying the pencil jar on Aunt Jill's desk, then sorting all pens repeatedly
* playing with the curtains
* running at the bed, bouncing off the edge, and laughing
* using pens to color on an old calendar Mommy found in Jill's trash can
* crying when sleepy Mommy realizes the danger and takes away the permanent markers
* asking repeatedly for shoes
* wiping nose snot in hair, but violently rejecting tissues
* turning pages of calendar over and over again to look at pictures of puppies
* watching Mommy go "pee-pee"
* demanding "more juice"
* having her diaper changed as a result of the "more juice"
* watching the end credits of "Dory" (again)
* rummaging under Jill's bed and emerging victorious with several Eeyores
* "reading" a "talking" book about Eeyore and pushing the buttons ad nauseum
* opening and closing all of the drawers in Jill's dresser, repeatedly
* spinning the flower-shaped handles on Jill's dresser drawers, repeatedly
* crying for the jelly beans she sees in a jar on Jill's desk
* sucking on one of Shay's pacifier
* rearranging the items on Jill's floor (note to Jill: sorry if you can't find your stuff tomorrow!)
* removing every item sitting on the ledge of the bathtub
* attempting to build large towers out of candles and bottles of contact solution
* crying unconsolably when realizing that a large candle will not balance on top of a small bottle of contact solution
* filling a cup at the sink, then dumping the water down the drain, over and over again, until her pajamas are soaking wet
* readjusting pajama legs to make running easier
* asking for "light;" apparently doing all of these things by glow of the television screen makes it feel too nightlike for her
* brushing her teeth
* "more Dory!" (again)
* continued coughing, sneezing, and wheezing
* eventually passing out from 5:45 to 7:45 (note: this has clearly not happened yet tonight, but I am sincerely hoping for a repeat performance. I could even go for a little longer this time!)
* waking up to start another long day as fussy toddler extraordinaire


Kathy said...

Oh no :( I couldn't even finish reading this list, so I can't imagine how you're feeling! I hope things get better.

Joe said...

Yikes. And I thought Jack was bad when we went places. Of course, now I am having visions of him soon asking to watch the Wiggles at 2 a.m. the next time we go some where.

Melissa said...

omg, this sounds like hell. i was on the fence about this but the list made me decide to try to qualify for the boston marathon instead of having a baby.

i hope you (and bryn) finally got some sleep.

ps. i loved your comment on rob's blog!

Anonymous said...

When you're ready for a nap when you get home, let me know I'll take some girls off your hands.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry, but that list is soooo funny! I know it must be different being there but I'd give anything to see Bryn in action. Seriously, I'd love to take her for the weekend for you. (I'm really good at the fantasy situations but I do mean it) I hope you were able to get some sleep and Bryn learns to keep daddy up at night instead of you ;-)
love, Pam

amypfan said...

To update all my loyal friends:
Bryn eventually passed on while lying on top of me at 5:30 am. I very carefully rearranged her in the bed so that we could both sleep comfortably. This lasted for all of 45 minutes, at which point she started tossing and turning in her sleep and then fell out of bed. No joke. The bed backs up to a window, and Bryn woke up howling after falling into the window sill. That was the end of our "night" of sleep. I've spent all day today with a migraine like you would not believe! It's 10:35 now, and I am FINALLY off to bed.

Anonymous said...

On a brighter note . . . it is the cheapest and most effective birth control on the planet!